| Ashlee Simpson’s Rebound Flame ‘Shocked’ Pete Wentz |
Ashlee? That’s Jessica’s sister, right? At least I know that much…. |
| PHOTOS: Kim Kardashian Busts Out |
Hmmmm…. pass |
| Jay Baruchel’s Proposal: ‘Sh*t Or Get Off The Pot’ |
Don’t know who this is and I’m sure I don’t care. Thank you very much Mister P@tty-m@#th. |
| Aretha Franklin Addresses Gastric Bypass Rumors |
Oh no she din’nt + TMI |
| PHOTOS: Olivia Wilde Rocks A Teeny Bikini |
Sure, I’d like to see this, but who is Olivia Wilde? |
| LISTEN: Britney Spears Reveals Three New Songs |
Please God, make it stop… |
| Lohan Evacuates Apartment After Tsunami Warning |
She did what?!!!? Oh… Oh, okay I get it. |
| PHOTOS: Eddie Murphy’s Ex-Wife Shows Off Her Six Pack |
Oh no she din’nt + TMI |
| Palin On ‘Game Change’ Movie: I’ll ‘Grit My Teeth & Bear’ It |
Sarah, why are you still here? |
| Guess The Oscar Winner’s Kid |
Hmmmm…. Pass |
| Charlie Sheen Gets Denied! |
It’s about time. |
| Jim Moret: For Charlie, Growing up Is Hard to Do |
FUN FACT: Jim Moret is the son of 60’s teen idol James Darin. |
| Tony Danza GETTING DIVORCED |
It’s about time… I’m sorry to hear that… I don’t know what to say… Oh, yeah, how about, what has he done lately? |
| Simon Cowell RIPS Elton John |
This doesn’t mean what I think it means… If so, I’m guessing Simon is a topsy. |
| PHOTOS: Jonah Hill’s Epic Weight Loss |
Okaaay… and… Jonah Hill was/is (what?) fat? Tell me again who Jonah Hill is. |
| WATCH: Kate Winslet Wears Nothing But A Sheet |
Sure I’d like to see that, but who is Kate Winslet? |
| Ryan Phillippe: ‘I’m Dating, But…’ |
I’m vomiting, but…. |
| Scarlett Johansson In 11 Revealing Moments |
Hmmmm…. pass… wait, maybe this is… nah… |
| PHOTOS, INFO: Meet Ashlee Simpson’s New Man |
Ashlee, why are you still here? |
| Mel Gibson CHARGED |
I guessing this means that he was charged with a crime, but hoping that it means that he was electrocuted. |
| Who Was Eliminated From ‘Idol’? |
Lost interest two seasons ago. |
| WATCH: Keira Knightley Dons Tight Catsuit |
Sure I’d like to see that, but, really, who is Keira Knightley? |
| Kelsey Grammer’s Daughter Reportedly Pregnant |
How can a woman be “reportedly” pregnant? Isn’t it “you’re either pregnant or you’re not”? |
| PHOTOS: Britney Dons Skimpy Leotard |
I think I’m going to be sick… |
| ‘Real World’ Cast Member Has Secret Gay Porn Past |
{SEE ALL OF THE ABOVE} |